Spiderman 3

Here are my notes, if you care to listen.

1. Too many characters. Either this is a story about Pete and Harry as the antagonist, or it's about the black suit. The Sandman should have been cut or held for four. I realize you needed him to enrage Peter into jealousy, and thus enhance the use of the suit and also see what this does to a man, but it was too complicated. You could have accomplished that with Harry. The love triangle was great. Use jealous. The revenge/we-never-caught-the-killer stuff was weak. The film’s theme was diluted because you used the "kitchen sink" approach. That never works. Rookie mistake.

2. Mary Jane had an interesting story line that was neither explained or followed through. Did Harry force her to say she was in love with someone else, or was she actually falling back in love with Harry? That kiss seemed convincing to me. That said, the ending wasn't as sweet as it could have been because this wasn't made clear. Of course a girl would dance with a guy who saved her life, but what's she going to do after that? Call up Harry's cousin Rich Johnny when things get rough? Come on MJ, we need a little more clarification on intentions.

3. The black suit came from outerspace. So? What does this have to do with anything? I know. I know. You're going to say that sometimes things don’t need to be explained. I agree. But I thought, and tell me if I'm wrong, that conflict should come out of character. If this is true, Peter should had done something boastful (as I'm assuming his tragic flaw was pride) in the beginning, i.e. when he's on the web with MJ and they're stargazing, she could say, "I'm thirsty" and he could say, "Don't get up." He could web some change into a coke machine (nice product placement) and then use a treetop to pop the top, this causes the switch to flip on a lab experiment (use your scene from sandman and scrap that story line), which makes the goo drop from whatever experiment they're doing. (Here’s where you also set up the bell stuff… it was too easy that he went to the church. Not explained, so therefore not anticipated and therefore no tension). That way, his use of Spidey-powers to showboat drink acquiring would have caused the goo to drop and hence, propelled us into plot with meaning and substance. Meanwhile MJ is put off by his boasting. You know how chicks hate macho moments on dates. It blows the romance. And here we go. It’s minute 6 and the story is off and running.