The First Time

Mattie Hart has spent the past 16 years destroying the evidence of an unfaithful husband: she has brushed aside countless scraps of scribbled phone numbers, thrown away hotel receipts she finds in her husband's coat pockets, and ripped up love notes. Finally, with the recent discovery of yet another indiscretion, she realizes that shredding physical evidence has done nothing to prevent her emotional fraying. Yet before Mattie can confront Jake, a high-profile defense lawyer, and come to grips with the fact that he has never loved her, he moves out of their beautiful suburban Chicago home and into his latest young paramour's apartment. And then Mattie receives some devastating news from her doctor: she has Lou Gehrig's disease. Struggling with a guilty conscience, Jake moves back home to care for his wife and repair relations with their angry teenage daughter, Kim. After a bout of furious denial, Mattie finds herself in the compromising position of depending upon a man whom she has never fully trusted. She also must convince Kim that her previously absent father will be there for her in the future. This is rich stuff. While skimping on plot, Fielding has created an adept study of three flawed characters who, after years of playing head games, must learn how to communicate. Despite such heavy psychological drama, the tone lightens as together these three vanquish inner demons. In the end, even as the novel races toward tragedy, Mattie prevails. Fielding has again pushed a seemingly fragile heroine to the brink, only to have her fight back, tooth and nail. This time, though, death is not the greatest threat.